I'm Still Here

Poor blog. Sacrificed in the name of "all other things that are going on." I shall attempt to revive you, however. Now seems like a good time to slap you across each cheek, check your pulse, and offer some food and water.

So, what's new? People who ask me that question are faced with a litany of things that -- to one not living it -- sounds if not like fiction at least like a vast exaggeration. And it's kind of sad when one's life starts sounding unbelievable to others. Most of "what's new" is good, at least. Some is stressful beyond words. And some are just regular issues, but heightened by their unfortunate proximity to "all other things that are going on."

The big news is that we've got a baby coming. Which isn't something either of us thought would happen, but did anyway. After Dave's mother died I think we both -- privately and instinctually -- realized the brevity of life and felt open to having a child in ways we didn't before. We never discussed this, but we became purposefully lax about preventing pregnancy. Still...we're in our 40s. "Leaving it in God's hands" to me really kind of meant "I probably won't get pregnant anyway." But I did. And really quickly. It's taken some time, but now we're both very excited albeit feeling overwhelmed like any first-time parents.

At about the same time we found we'd be parents (actually, only the day after!) we also found that Dave's estranged brother decided to contest their mother's will (which leaves everything to Dave). Evil brother has an opening because her will, unfortunately, is not signed. I can't go into this too much...it's a very painful betrayal coming right on the heels of Dave's grieving for his mother. It's also caused more chaos and expense in our lives than I can detail...it's cost us a great deal to maintain his mother's house in winter, there was a burst pipe that created an emergency situation, as well as endless frustration and time spent trying to maintain and insure property one doesn't technically own and for which nobody is yet named executor (due to conflicts around the will). So far estate issues have taken at least as much out of our lives as a part-time job and cost us about half of our savings, at a time when we're trying to emotionally and financially prepare to raise a child.

At about the same time Dave had surgery on his nose. In fact, right after his surgery -- despite doctor's orders that he rest -- he had to be at his mom's house moving boxes from the basement because of the frozen pipe incident.

At about the same time I was also working full-time, taking two graduate courses, and working part-time on my internship. As well as dealing with morning sickness and potential genetic problems in our unborn child (those tests and procedures turned out ok, by the way!).

At about the same time, Dave found out his school would be closing at the end of the year and he'd be out of a job in a matter of months.

And at about the same time, I found out my office was being reorganized and that we'd have additional job responsibilities and a new supervisor.

And yet...like Weebles of yore...after each push we've managed to right ourselves again.

Thankfully, baby is doing well. He'll be here in less than 2 months. His nursery is cute and we're very excited to meet him (yes...it's a boy). Moxie, for her part, is finding pacifiers the perfect kitty toy. And after a miserable and frightening first trimester, the rest of my pregnancy has been happy and healthy. I graduated with my second MA this May, which (finally) freed up some time for me to focus on preparing for parenthood. Dave's school closed but he found another (even better) job right away. And the upheaval at my job has turned out to be a positive change for me. So really...I need to be done with the complaining.

With the end of winter things have settled down a bit with estate issues, but a big court date is still on its way in October and the result of that could impact our financial future and make things even more difficult if Dave's brother wins his case. Either way, we'll be faced with an estate to manage and a house to sell or rent. The end to that ordeal is not in sight, but hopefully after a long fight even that will eventually right itself.

So, poor blog, that's why you've been left to languish. But I'm back, and ready to hopefully fill you with happy tales of parenthood and far fewer tales of woe.