Gosh...

It has has been awhile, hasn't it? I won't even bother with excuses, since it's my blog and I can come and go as I please, and I hardly have thousands of readers awaiting my every posting (although I do think of you, Cory, my most loyal reader!).

I'm starting to understand that drama may never leave our lives. At least I've reached a place where drama no longer undoes me as it used to. Especially after the last couple years, I'm kinda like "yawn....oh, ho hum, here are more unexpected hurdles to leap...yawn...well, le's do this thing and get it over with." Old hat, man. For instance, I remember when I first started graduate school and every class was chock-full of presentations and it REALLY freaked me out (as public speaking does for many). I recall once driving to class and wishing my car would careen off a bridge so I wouldn't have to give a 30-minute presentation on Russian Formalism. But by the time I was finishing my program you simply could NOT shut me up. Presentations? I'm all over that! Speaking at conferences? Let's go! And, of course, teaching. No problem. Sure, I still get anxious but after so much exposure I'm no longer afraid of public speaking. And I'm sure it's the same for everything in life. The more you do, the more you can handle. And that's where I'm at with the latest life drama.

Dave's mom died unexpectedly in early September. Her health had been suffering for a long time (she was in and out of the hospital and nursing homes since early January), but nothing that seemed life-threatening. We thought that she may need to move out of her house and into a senior citizen apartment complex, but that alone was the big "worst case scenario". I won't go into details, except to say that her death was the result of a number of freak occurances and was entirely preventable had she been taking better care of herself, following her doctor's instructions, and had any number of things not happened in exactly the manner they did. Dave was his mother's only close family, so the burden has largely fallen on him to deal with this. He's been doing well, but as anyone whose lost someone knows it's only after the immediate numbness goes away that the real pain begins. I know it will be hard. And after dealing with her death and funeral, we're now working with our lawyer to sort out her estate, which seems like it should be easy but is not because the person named as executor has died and for a number of reasons that's causing complications. And eventually there will be another trauma once we have to deal with the house; it's the house in which Dave grew up and selling or renting it will signal another big loss for him.

My advice to the world? Make sure you have a signed living will and you make sure everyone who may need it has a copy or knows where it's kept. If you have any kind of surgery, make sure that your loved ones know where all your important records are, and if possible have your closest loved one listed as a joint account holder so they can take care of your business if you cannot. If you have an old will, update it so your executor is a living person. Don't neglect your health. And end each conversation with the words "I love you," because you never know when you'll be speaking to someone for the very last time.

Aside from all that, we have had some fun. We were able to host a couple Halloween Parties at our house. Dave started a book club at his school. My graduate classes have been going swell. We've been getting together with friends and continuing with all our house-related projects. I hope it's been a lovely fall for you!

Staycation

Dave at MN Landscape Arboretum

Me at the Arboretum

Dave at Franconia Sculpture Park

along Gooseberry Falls hiking trail

Celebrating Independence Day

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So, it was a staycation this summer. Which at first sounded really fun, but turns out it's not quite as fun as going away for vacation. Nevertheless, since there are a few expensive things we needed to buy now and in the near future, we decided to lay low this year.

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The good:

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* Hosted a couple wonderful gatherings

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* Visited some fun places (Duluth/Gooseberry Falls, Franconia Sculpture Park, Walker Art Museum, Landscape Arboretum, Science Museum, Camp Ripley)

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* Tried some new restaurants (favorite was Burger Moe's on W. 7th)

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* Got halfway through the revisions on my novel

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* Created a paved off-street parking lot next to our garage, in an area previously occupied by an unsightly passage tomb (or, rather, a 5 foot tall dirt-mound of mysterious rotting items that certainly resembled a passage tomb)

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* Read Lud-in-the-Mist

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* Saw a couple good movies (Winter's Bone and I Am Love)

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* Did some painting (watercolor)

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* Watched the first season of Lost (yes, we're that behind the times...and are ok with that)

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* I had a lovely birthday

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The bad:

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* A staycation meant (at least for me) a constant internal war betweeen "I should be doing fun things" and "I should be getting something useful done," and no amount of compromise is going to make one feel good about however that precious vacation time is being spent.

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* The portmanteau "staycation" is irritating...and yet I continue to use it.

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* For the amount of money we spent on eating out and doing things, we probably could have just gone somewhere. Lesson Learned: even a staycation needs a budget.

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* Developed an even deeper hatred for those who reside in the duplex next to us. Why are they always home? Why are there so many children over there constantly? Why are children who don't even live there always hanging out there? Why is there never an adult to be seen?

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* It seemed to be 100 degrees and humid every freaking day.

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* Too much Menards.

Overall, the good outweighed the bad. And of course the best is yet to come....the State Fair! Oh, State Fair, you bittersweet seductress you! And I continue to plug away at the novel, inspired by the big chunk of work I did get done over vacation. And one of our staycation consolation prizes is a new computer, which will be delivered shortly and will make our lives so much more efficient! Yay!

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Hope your summer is going swimmingly!

80% Fun

Awhile back, I kvetched that I was only having 1% fun, due to a punishing schedule of full-time job, full-time grad school, and teaching college two afternoons a week. Now 2/3rds of that is over. So now what?

If I feel like watching TV or a movie, or reading a book, I can! Just because I want to! I don't need to plan book reading or movie watching around the Byzantine complications of my weekly schedule!

Speaking of which, I can read for pleasure! I've whipped through 5 books already since the end of May, and am reading Lud-in-the Mist right now.

If friends want to meet for drinks or dinner, well....I'm free! We don't need to schedule it two months in advance.

I'm reaching 80% fun right now. I'm worried that I may engorge myself with so much fun that it will make me sick, like a dehydrated person who needs to be fed water very slowly so as not to overwhelm the system.

But I'm not quite done with my adamant "let's do this" productivity, either. We have a house that's been patiently waiting since Thanksgiving to be fully unpacked and organized. There's a yard we're still scratching our heads over. Plumbing issues that can't be ignored (despite our best attempts). Piles of unwanted stuff that must be sorted and distributed to appropriate recycling/refuse facilities. Piles of wanted stuff that must be organized and tucked away. At least a half dozen technical/electronic items are knock-knock-knocking on heaven's door, so replacements must be found. And, frankly, there is a novel that must be completed. Remember my poor novel sitting there in the corner, barely surviving on a few crusts of attention? Yeah. I'm finishing it. Starting in July.

So while the fun is ballooning, I'm not quite at a place where I just wake up in the morning, stretch my arms to the sky, sigh with warm content and think "now, whatever should I do today?" There are lists. Kind of elaborate multi-functional to-do lists. But the difference is that this summer the deadlines are our own and not dictated by class schedules. And that's a sweet difference indeed.

Back to fun things. This past weekend was David Day! Nothing pleases Dave more than tank-viewing, so we went to the military museum at Fort Ripley where they have a supposedly rare Jumbo Sherman Tank. Now, to me a tank is a tank and I don't see much difference, much like to Dave one pair of black pumps is the same as any other pair of black pumps. But apparently this Jumbo Sherman is unlike other tanks in a variety of significant ways I can't remember, except that it's heavier. Whatever the case, he sure liked it...which is the goal of David Day.

After spending a couple hours at the museum, we came home and I made Welsh rarebit macaroni and cheese and a homemade banana cream pie for my man. I've never made a custard pie from scratch before (I'm used to making the kind that involves pre-made crust and jello pudding), and really...there's no going back now, even if it does take a couple hours and involves de-seeding vanilla pods. All banana cream pies must now meet this standard. I messed up the recipe in three different ways, and the thing still tasted so good that I couldn't even resist eating part of it before taking this photo. Didn't even need whipped cream. So yum.

Tomorrow is Terri Day, so I shall see what surprises await me.

Thanks, Former Owners!

When we closed on our house in late October, the former owners had a conversation that went like this:

"Should we tell them?"
"No, let it be a surprise!"
"Come on....tell them!"
"Do you think so?"
"They really should know"

I'm thinking....tell us what? About the poltergeist? The neighbor who practices their tuba at 5am Saturday mornings? The snake infestation? And yet...they seemed delighted by whatever this surprise was. Finally they revealed the secret: come spring, there would be a plethora of red tulips poking their fancy little heads out of the ground. And, in the photo above, you can see the result. They line the boarders of the garden, the sides of the house, and there are a few strongholds elsewhere as well, along with one non-conformist yellow tulip. Yay! Beautiful tulips our first spring there...and all we had to do to enjoy the bounty was a whole lotta nothin'. Well, except buy the house. But, anyway, thanks former owners! We'll forgive you for leaving piles of rotting wood in the garage and half-empty paint cans. We're even now.

Finally I have fresh flowers from my own garden to arrange in carefully-saved clotted cream containers:

And a perfect place to settle my Alice in Wonderland garden statuary:

Now we just have to figure out what else is in the garden. We've got a raspberry bush, and I discovered some mint. The rest of it...well, I guess more surprises to come.

I have a little speech prepared...

Thanks to my good friend and fellow blogger, Michelle (JoJo) at A Mid-Atlantic English (http://michelloui.blogspot.com/), for giving me a Happiness Award! Yay! An award! Her blog is subtitled "long term expat lifestyle" but it's a fabulous blog for anyone interested in travel, family dynamics, the ambiguities of our life choices, or basically anyone keen on beautiful, thought-provoking essays. I certainly enjoy it very much. Thanks, JoJo!

A responsibility that comes with this award is a list of 10 things that make me happy. I'm going to amend that, and rather list 10 things that made me (or will make me) happy TODAY.

1. The morning e-mail from my husband, checking in and telling me how he can't wait to see me later. It's so nice starting each day feeling like a newlywed.

2. Tide To-Go Stain Remover pens.

3. Someone brought in shamrock-shaped sugar cookies.

4. The alliteration of "shamrock-shaped sugar cookies" pleases me as well.

5. The anticipation of taking a quick walk by the Mississippi during my lunch break (for the first time after a long winter).

6. There are no meetings today!

7. This is a happy thing yet-to-come, but it will make me very happy when I get home from work and my new cat Moxie cuddles with such intensity that you'd think I just rescued her from a well.

8. I also like that when Moxie is done cuddling, she meows and taps me on the shoulder to get down so we can move onto the "treat" portion of our reunion.

9. Another yet-to-come, but it makes me happy that my heart still leaps with excitement when I hear my husband's key in the door when he's arrived home from work.

10. I am very happy that I ended up buying the Libery for Target comforter that I almost passed over.

1% Fun

My life right now is 95% work, 2% cleaning, 2% being sick, and 1% fun. The working full-time + going to graduate school full-time + teaching a college English course plan was STUPID. What was I thinking? I only have 1% fun now!! That's not right. I keep telling myself that once it's over I'll be glad I did it. And I only have about 11 weeks of this left...except now that I type it out, that still sounds like a really long time. Anyway, I don't like this at all.

But, that 1% fun is there at least. Thankfully I have a fun husband and a fun kitty and fun friends. I did manage to decorate and make an icebox cake for Dave's birthday, I watched some of the Olympics (see photo below of me and Moxie watching together), and Moxie's cuteness makes unfun things (like being sick) seem just a little more fun.

Et Tu, 2010?

So...2009. I can't kvetch too much, since it ended with a job for Dave and a house for us and even a darling little cat. Plus there were two "outside of Minnesota" vacations in there as well, and just the fact that we traveled regardless of our lives' chaos made me very happy indeed! But there was also more stress than I think I've ever had to deal with in my adult life so far. My hair was actually coming out. It was making Dave physically ill. Looking back I can see the positive. We learned that we can handle things, really bad stressful things, and rather than harming us they made us and our marriage stronger. I'm still amazed at how last year my marriage seemed a kind of difficult but graceful dance, me naturally taking a strong lead when Dave was spinning and Dave picking up the lead once my own legs gave out. I witnessed with pride how Dave handled with dignity a situation that would break most people, including myself. And I saw how after a week of tears and fist-raised-to-the-heavens I managed to spit polish my situation and smile again, back to planning a better future with a kind of optimisim I never realized I had. And yeah...things worked out "for the best" as they say. And yet I still feel the trauma, and figuratively continue to look behind me as if trouble is about it leap from the shadows once again lest I get too comfortable and happy.

So facing 2010 I feel kind of sick to my stomach. This is the first year I remember starting a year with negative expectations, a kind of "what fresh hell?" attitude. So far it hasn't disappointed. In the few weeks of 2010, Dave's mother has been hospitalized and is having a difficult time of it (creating a great deal of stress, worry and extra work for Dave), I've fallen and factured my tail bone (again, causing stress and worry for Dave), my mother's cat died quite unexpectedly and at a young age, and our car seems to be refusing to make it through the winter like it promised (or rather, like the mechanic promised this fall after its last repair). And there are ill omens of Dave's school possibly closing after this year and another difficult job search on the horizon...this time, with us having the additional responsibility of a mortgage to keep us awake at night. Additionally, I have saddled myself with perhaps the most insane schedule I've ever kept: full-time graduate classes, teaching an English course, and continuing my regular full-time job. Back when I made those decision I thought I could do it all. Now that the new semester is about to knock on my door, I'm so mad at myself I'd kick my own ass if it weren't for the sore tailbone. And the general state-of-the-world problems that weigh heavily even though they happen far away, like in Haiti.

So, 2010, let's hope that you're just getting all the really bad stuff out of the way early and will surprise me. Let's hope next year I'm looking back on you thinking, "that wasn't bad at all!" Or better yet, "thank god we won the lottery!" Surprise everyone with good things, 2010. I dare you.

A Very Moxie Christmas

I'll start right off with a picture of my little kitty-buddy and nap partner, Moxie! We adopted her over Christmas break, and now after only a week or so it's hard to imagine being without her. She makes little chirps and murmurs that sound (according to Dave) like R2D2. She's awfully pushy about the distribution of treats, but seems to have learned my treat-giving patterns and is adapting. She absolutely loses her MIND over her laser toy...frankly, I'm getting a little concerned about the intensity with which she pursues "laser bug." She likes to supervise whatever I'm doing, and much of what I do apparently causes her concern; I think I've received at least four scoldings from her in cat language. More and more she likes to be held and cuddled, as long as her hind feet are left alone. And perhaps cutest of all, she kneads her paws even when she's standing. How? She lifts one paw, then the other, and back and forth as if she were standing on hot coals. At first I thought there was something wrong with her paws, but no. She's just kneading in her own intense way. Love her!

Overall, Christmas break was sleepy and dreamy and sparkling and stuffed full of really-bad-for-you food. Hung out with great friends, finally finished War and Peace, watched numerous movies, bought kind of an absurd number of books, and finally finished unpacking and organizing my office! Did you know? I have my own office now. Not just a bed and a laptop, but a ROOM with a DESK and a CHAIR. There's even a nice RUG in there. And all my teaching and writing stuff in one place. Oh, and look! Moxie is in there as well, supervising as usual.