Gosh...

It has has been awhile, hasn't it? I won't even bother with excuses, since it's my blog and I can come and go as I please, and I hardly have thousands of readers awaiting my every posting (although I do think of you, Cory, my most loyal reader!).

I'm starting to understand that drama may never leave our lives. At least I've reached a place where drama no longer undoes me as it used to. Especially after the last couple years, I'm kinda like "yawn....oh, ho hum, here are more unexpected hurdles to leap...yawn...well, le's do this thing and get it over with." Old hat, man. For instance, I remember when I first started graduate school and every class was chock-full of presentations and it REALLY freaked me out (as public speaking does for many). I recall once driving to class and wishing my car would careen off a bridge so I wouldn't have to give a 30-minute presentation on Russian Formalism. But by the time I was finishing my program you simply could NOT shut me up. Presentations? I'm all over that! Speaking at conferences? Let's go! And, of course, teaching. No problem. Sure, I still get anxious but after so much exposure I'm no longer afraid of public speaking. And I'm sure it's the same for everything in life. The more you do, the more you can handle. And that's where I'm at with the latest life drama.

Dave's mom died unexpectedly in early September. Her health had been suffering for a long time (she was in and out of the hospital and nursing homes since early January), but nothing that seemed life-threatening. We thought that she may need to move out of her house and into a senior citizen apartment complex, but that alone was the big "worst case scenario". I won't go into details, except to say that her death was the result of a number of freak occurances and was entirely preventable had she been taking better care of herself, following her doctor's instructions, and had any number of things not happened in exactly the manner they did. Dave was his mother's only close family, so the burden has largely fallen on him to deal with this. He's been doing well, but as anyone whose lost someone knows it's only after the immediate numbness goes away that the real pain begins. I know it will be hard. And after dealing with her death and funeral, we're now working with our lawyer to sort out her estate, which seems like it should be easy but is not because the person named as executor has died and for a number of reasons that's causing complications. And eventually there will be another trauma once we have to deal with the house; it's the house in which Dave grew up and selling or renting it will signal another big loss for him.

My advice to the world? Make sure you have a signed living will and you make sure everyone who may need it has a copy or knows where it's kept. If you have any kind of surgery, make sure that your loved ones know where all your important records are, and if possible have your closest loved one listed as a joint account holder so they can take care of your business if you cannot. If you have an old will, update it so your executor is a living person. Don't neglect your health. And end each conversation with the words "I love you," because you never know when you'll be speaking to someone for the very last time.

Aside from all that, we have had some fun. We were able to host a couple Halloween Parties at our house. Dave started a book club at his school. My graduate classes have been going swell. We've been getting together with friends and continuing with all our house-related projects. I hope it's been a lovely fall for you!